Follow Your Blisstonia

After a few more setbacks over the last week concerning my nascent Chaos Daemons army, I've decided to put that 40k project aside for now and return to more familiar ground. For whatever reason I couldn't get my Slaaneshi mojo working so instead I have switched back to the Blisstonian 9th, my Simpsons-inspired Imperial Guard regiment. Also at this point I would much rather spend my time painting than building another army. I still want to do the Daemon thing but that can wait as it is not something I want to rush or do half-heartedly. Thus onto my beloved Blisstonia...

When I was last working on these guys I had become bogged down with the very first penal squad of the army. I may have to rethink their color scheme or at least change my approach to painting it as I remember those Guardsmen not being very much fun. In the meantime however I am going to begin by painting Techpriest Smithers and his squad of servitors, the Drones of Sector 7G. This seems appropriate too in that they were the first unit I included when developing the theme for this army. I'd also always planned on painting them in a different set of colors from the rest of the army, so that way I can work on them without knowing exactly how I will proceed with the main portion of the Blisstonian 9th.

As evidenced by the extremely early WIP photo seen above, I only sat down to begin painting these servitors a few minutes ago. Therefore I am eager to get back to it while I still have time this evening. Hopefully I can get more done on my Blisstonians than I did with the Slaaneshi daemons before I once again change directions. Despite how fickle I can be, that still shouldn't be too hard considering how little progress I actually made on the Chaos Dameons. Hmm, maybe Tzeentch would have better suited my hobby temperament after all.

Happy painting and gaming!

Deathstrike Missiles in Spearhead

Of course... source programmable guidance!

There were some unusual developments yesterday. First off, my copy of White Dwarf issue #371 (US edition) arrived in the mail even before showing up at my LGS. This is strange in that mine typically is delivered two weeks after becoming available for sale in the shop. The second odd thing is that it arrived in good condition instead of being crumpled, bent, battered or torn as is normally the case with my subscription. Apparently my postman is not keen on tabletop gaming. The third and perhaps most disturbing development however is that upon opening the magazine, I almost instantly found genuine content directly applicable to my games of 40k.

Whaaaaaaat? Surely something is amiss here.

In this issue there is an article about the Spearhead variant of 40k which concludes with new rules for a pair of Spearhead Formations, written by none other than my man Jervis Johnson. Aside from further fueling my recent fixation with the other JJ, this actually raises a question for me relevant to playing the game itself. I know... this keeps getting more and more bizarre, doesn't it?

My question pertains to the so-called Destroyer Formation, comprised of 1-3 Heavy Support units specified as being of any type. At the cost of an additional 75 points the vehicles in this Formation receive the special rule, Preparatory Barrage, which says that you get to fire all their weapons once after deployment and any pre-battle moves have been completed. So does this mean that if I'm playing a game of Spearhead using my Blisstonian 9th, I would be allowed to launch all three of my Deathstrike Missiles before even the game's first turn?

Really? While that might sound great to Guard players with a penchant for doomsday weaponry, amongst whom I count myself, it nonetheless strikes me as being somewhat overly powerful. I understand that Spearhead should not be regarded as a finely balanced set of rules, but come on... really?

To answer this question my first course of action was to ring up Nottingham so as to ask the old man himself for an explanation. Unfortunately though it seems Jervis is no longer accepting my calls. I therefore am turning to you 28mm generals, my wonderfully erudite and sagacious WH40k readers, for your opinion on the matter. Am I reading this correctly, that this really would let me fire off all three missiles in a singularly impressive salvo of ultimate doom?

Like I said that just seems a little over the top to me, but what do you think? Part of the appeal for me in using a trio of Deathstrikes was not their in-game effectiveness (or lack thereof) but rather the dramatic tension created as they countdown to launch. I therefore might actually miss that aspect of the models' unique rules were I to make full use of the Preparatory Barrage. I suspect the presence of this type of Formation would also encourage my opponent to either simply Reserve everything if possible, or else at a minimum to adopt a more open deployment than otherwise might be considered. It's fun to think about though.

Regardless, one thing this has taught me is that even when it comes to reading White Dwarf, no matter how jaded you may have become, it is still important to pay attention and keep your eyes peeled...

... you might actually see something interesting!

Okay, that's it for now. I hope all of you have a great day, I'm off to find my copy of Spies Like Us. :) Oh yeah, and if you get a chance please let me know what you think about this business regarding the Destroyer Formation. Take care, friends!

EDIT: While preparing this post, my daughter got a hold of the issue of White Dwarf in question and tore the cover off. Ha! So much for it being in good condition....

The Redwood Raven

So if the current internet buzz can be believed, it looks like the Stonecutters will be getting a Spruce Moose* after all. Woo-hoo!! I haven't had a whole lot of time today to check out the news but I hope this is legit. My first impression is that the design doesn't look terribly intimidating or mean, instead reminding me of a cross between a bumble bee and a lawn dart. Or something else equally silly. But for a Simpsons-themed army I think this model would be perfect. It's got a lot of comedy potential and will be a nice centerpiece for the army once I get around to them.

I'm psyched. The Blisstonians already have their Copperhead in which to chauffeur around Plant Manager Burns. Meanwhile it looks promising that the Stonecutters will have a Storm Raven to spearhead their drunken (airborne!) assaults. Hooray, flyers for everyone!

Sorry I've been quiet the last few days. I became ill at the start of the week but am feeling better now. Painting continues on the Citadel Woods although there has not been a whole lot of progress since my last post. More to come soon... cheers!

*From "$pringfield," episodes #1F08. Another plane belonging to Mr. Burns, the Plywood Pelican featured in episode #FABF16 "Midnight Rx", would also provide suitable inspiration/precedent for a Stonecutters Storm Raven. I cannot however find any reference pictures of the Plywood Pelican so that's why I'm going with the Spruce Moose. It's also from an earlier episode so that gives it primacy.

Plant Manager Burns Finished

Last night I finished working on Plant Manager Burns, my counts-as Primaris Psyker for the Blisstonian 9th. Overall I'm happy with the results and will gladly put Burns down on the table, leading his army of disgruntled workers in defense of Sector 7G. I think the astropath miniature turned out well and does a good job of expressing the contempt in which Burns holds his minions. In particular I like the jutting jaw and his pallid complexion.

As can be seen in the pictures there are quite a few things I could try to fix but I'm satisfied for now and am ready to move on. The parchment tacked to his staff turned out rather messy as I was impatient and used a wash without waiting long enough for the lettering to dry. Also the staff itself looks unfinished but I've never been able to paint those properly. I did spend some time trying to fix the weird highlighting on his robes which I noticed in my earlier WIP photo, but a few prominent areas still look pretty funky. Nonetheless these issues don't bother me enough for me to want to put more work into this guy and I like where he's at now.

Plant Manager Burns is complete, up next for painting will be the first squad of Blisstonian 9th penal legionnaires.

Blisstonian 9th WIP

The past couple of nights have seen me working away at the first pair of the Blisstonian 9th, starting with a Penal Legionnaire and my Primaris Psyker, Plant Manager Burns. Initially I tried going with a much more desaturated look but that turned out bland and awful. The grey tones made everything blend together and was boring... in fact worse because it felt like there was nothing on which to focus and was not pleasant to look at. The desaturated effect can look great in more realistic military color schemes, but with this selection of colors it simply was not working for me.

I therefore went back to my original paints to restore the richness of the colors and am significantly happier now with these fuller tones. The guardsman still has quite a way to go but the Psyker's robes are done and show how my army's main colors should look. The boots, gas mask, and other equipment are all a soft, neutral brown while the lasgun will end up being olive drab or perhaps leaning towards a tannish green. I was uncomfortable with how it was all coming together until I at last painted the basecoat for the lasgun and the psyker's staff. Having done so I now feel good about the overall appearance and am confident going forward with this scheme.

[Edit: I realized the morning after writing this that I really wasn't feeling as confident as I had stated here. Perhaps I was trying to convince myself with some painter's bravado, or maybe it had just gotten too late so that I didn't notice the disconnect between my perceived state of mind and how I truly felt. Regardless, the relief expressed in my comments at getting some positive feedback is genuine and accurately reflects my feelings some hours after writing.]

I chose these color to be a change of pace as well as a personal challenge since I rarely use blue and almost never paint with purple or violet hues in any significant amount. It's a shame too because I really like painting purples but only ever seem to use them when working on historical minis from the Alexandrian and Hellenistic periods. I am not, however, a fan of painting blues as I find them both frustrating and even a bit dull visually. I suppose that's why I tend to avoid using a lot of blue on my miniatures. I therefore will be painting purples to have fun and blues as a challenge, hopefully learning how to enjoy them and to establish a more harmonious attitude toward that part of the spectrum.

Really though the most important factor for me is that theses color satisfy my admittedly vague sense of a Simpsonian palette, those colors and color combinations which I feel would be appropriate for my animated inspiration. I wanted something colorful and even somewhat playful but still with a feeling of coldness and menace, or at least cartoon menace, which I think these colors convey. Plus I like how the color scheme looks and it shouldn't be too difficult to paint, so that's nice. I anticipate being very happy with an entire army painted this way and feel good about going forward with my plans. I'll likely finish painting Burns as I begin working on the rest of this Guardsman's penal squad.

Yeah, painting is fun!

Entering the Killzone

Let me start by saying that the mystery of the Simpsons dice has been solved. Very special thanks go to Sons of Taurus! As a result of his generosity and good will, I'm sure these fantastic dice are loaded with positive mojo and as such I expect great things from them. Thank you so much, you embiggen our hobby with your kindness. This has been for me a truly cromulent experience!

Now as it so happens, Sons of Taurus has recently become formally involved in a project that I am really excited about and he has been working to develop it further. Since returning home from vacation I have been eagerly catching up on all the latest developments with Big Jim's 40k skirmish undertaking, Special Operations: Killzone. I think he's hit gaming-gold with this one and I'm thrilled to see such a cool fan-driven project come together like this. I never understood why Games Workshop kept Necromunda locked up in the Hive, endlessly fighting fairly mundane gang conflicts when there was so much potential for expansion with the inclusion of xenos, Chaos, and the various Imperial military types. I believe Killzone will do an excellent job filling this vacancy in the Warhammer 40,000 universe and I can hardly wait to see what Big Jim and his dedicated Rules Committee do next.

It seems like there's been a lot going on with Killzone recently and that it has generated significant interest with fellow gamers. The updated ruleset is due to be released soon, Big Jim has hit the podcast waves to promote and discuss his creation over at Imperial Vox Cast, and now b.smoove of A Gentleman's Ones reports that he is cooking up some sort of Killzone event extravaganza for Adepticon 2011. Awesome, right?

This has all been too much for me to resist and it appears that I have now fully caught the Killzone fire. It's therefore a fine time to start thinking about a Special Ops team of my own. While I hope to begin trying out the Killzone rules using miniatures already in my collection, what really has gotten me excited is the prospect of putting together a small force specifically for this new skirmish system. Painting the Blisstonian 9th is still my priority but I believe this will be a really fun side project to work on alongside the main army as it presents the opportunity to model and paint a unique batch of characterful individuals. Here then is my idea for my first Killzone team, The Baker's Dozen:

Blisstonian 9th - Special Operations Group, "Baker's Dozen"

Concept: For my first SOG team I want to do something inspired by the "rag-tag bunch of misfits" type of ensemble cast that was a staple of so many classic war movies (the most obvious example of which being The Dirty Dozen). Every model should be unique in terms of overall classification, weaponry, equipment, et cetera. There should be no duplicates, each member of the team must be an individual and a specialist of some sort, and movie cliches are encouraged. The team must be generally related to my current Simpsons army project, the Blisstonian 9th, but separate enough to have its own identity. I do not want to just repurpose models previously assembled but to instead take advantage of this chance to do something new.

Background: SOG "Baker's Dozen" is comprised of those members of the Blisstonian 9th who have been assigned to the most hazardous duties available at Sector 7G. Having each earned Plant Manager Burns' displeasure for a variety of probably minor offenses, these men have been pulled together to deal with the worst that Imperial industry of the 41st millennium has to offer. They're the guys who fill and handle the toxic waste barrels, who risk their lives and sanity in maintaining the Sector's haunted steam tunnel labyrinths, and who are called upon to clear out Burns' corpse-hatch when it becomes clogged. The soldiers who survive these traumatic ordeals become strong and are toughened by the harshness of their daily existence. Out of necessity they develop survival and combat skills not found amongst the other members of their regiment tasked with serving 7G. These factors, as well as their expendable nature due to having unwisely angered Burns in the past, make this group ideal candidates for whatever commando raids and suicide missions are required for the defense of Sector 7G.

Modeling: I'm sticking with the Imperial Guard for this team and want it to be visually connected to my Blisstonian 9th army project, but nonetheless distinct as befitting such a specialized unit. My standard Blisstonians are built using Cadian Shock models with Pig Iron Kolony Militia heads, so to change up my approach a little I plan on building the Baker's Dozen special ops team using the more muscular parts found in the various Catachan kits and then topped off with Pig Iron Kolony Rebel heads. Thus they will be similarly gas-masked as the other Blisstonians and should still be recognizable as Imperial Guardsmen, but otherwise will hopefully look more like the collection of specialized action heroes that I envision.

Points Level: To determine the size of my Killzone SOG team, the range suggested in the current set of rules goes from 175 up to 250 points maximum. My team will therefore be built for the high-end of that scale but it should be simple enough to adapt for smaller games by simply removing team members in excess of the agreed points total. Obviously in such cases Baker's Dozen has taken some casualties on the way in to their objective and thus not everyone has survived for the big, exciting finale. Oh well, at least they'll still get shown posthumously in the tearful closing montage.

Theme upgrade: NA, none purchased

SOG List, "Baker's Dozen"- 250 total points:

Veteran Sergeant (Team Leader): plasma pistol, power fist, frag and krak grenades, Refractor field - 47 points

Veteran: lasgun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades, Vox caster - 12 points

Veteran: lasgun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades, Medipack - 15 points

Veteran: lasgun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades, Commando - 17 points

Veteran: shotgun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades, Brawler - 10 points

Veteran: lasgun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades, Blade Master - 15 points

Veteran: lasgun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades, Resilient - 10 points

Veteran: lasgun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades, Targeter - 10 points

Veteran: sniper rifle, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades - 12 points

Veteran: meltagun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades - 17 points

Veteran: plasma gun, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades - 22 points

Veteran: heavy flamer, close combat weapon, frag and krak grenades - 27 points

Scout Sentinel: multi-laser, Searchlight - 36 points

Questions and Assumptions: While working out the details for my SOG, I encountered a few things which I was unsure how to handle per the current set of Killzone rules. I could have been sensible and just waited a few more days for the next ruleset and its accompanying codex-specific errata to be released, but where's the fun in that? In putting together my list for the team, I have therefore made a number of assumptions and guesses based on what I hope will soon be clarified. My two main questions concern the points value of my team leader and the inclusion of some items of equipment available in the IG Codex but so far not mentioned in the Killzone documents. I'd love to hear from any members of the Rules Committee should you happen to take note of this.

Specifically, if individual IG Veterans cost 7 points apiece (starting cost for a basic unit of Veterans is 70 points and consists of ten models), would the Veteran Sergeant cost the same in a Killzone team or do I need to pay a premium for him due to his improved stat-line? For this initial list making attempt I assumed a starting cost of only 7 points as I could not find any further guidance regarding this question. The other big assumption I made concerns the points cost of equipment available to those units from which I've selected my SOG but which are not covered in any of the Killzone rules. I have no idea if these items (the squad's vox caster and the Sentinel's searchlight) will ever make it into the rules, and if they do get included in the future, I certainly don't know if they will be costed the same as they are in the Codex. As this is only my first team and Killzone is still in playtesting, I felt it would be okay to go ahead and include them in my list paying the cost given in the Guard book. I don't see this being a major problem as I can just ignore the items if need be and accept the slight penalty in wasted points. I do hope, however, that more pieces of specialized gear will eventually find their way into Killzone as I think that would be a neat way of further personalizing our teams.

Okay, that it's for my initial thoughts on Special Operations: Killzone. I'd appreciate any feedback in general, but I'm especially interested in hearing about those possibly incorrect assumptions I made in putting together my team. Of course if I missed any other areas in which I did not properly select my team or calculate its cost, please let me know what I need to do to be in compliance with the rules. I'm excited about getting to try out Killzone and I'm very grateful to Big Jim for initiating and orchestrating this project, as well as to those of you distinguished gamers volunteering your efforts as part of the Rules Committee. Thank you for enriching my hobby experience.

Gratitude! Mystery! Simpsons! DICE!!!

I'm very happy to report about a really amazing surprise that showed up on my doorstep yesterday. Inside an innocent looking box addressed to yours truly, I found a four-pack of Duff Beer cans. What's this, then? Even more exciting, upon closer inspection I discovered that it was in fact a set of 20 custom Simpsons dice!

WOOOO-HOOOO!!!

The facings are as follows: Homer - 6, Barney - 5, Carl - 4, Lenny - 3, Moe - 2, Duffman - 1 (labeled as W on the die for "Wild"). So it looks like in most cases I'll want to see lots of Homers, except for those Leadership checks when I need the courage only Duff can provide. Perfect, just perfect!

I have a fascination for odd or unusual dice and I've never seen any Simpson dice before. Also I enjoy trying to find a matching set of dice for each new army so this will be the official dice for my Drones of Sector 7G/Blisstonian 9th project. I can also use them for my Stonecutters, and the Emperor's Isotopes as well should I ever get around to making any of them, though I still plan on eventually ordering some chapter-specific dice from Chessex for those armies. But I had no idea what to do for the Blisstonians and was quite distressed over the matter, so this timely arrival nicely resolves that dilemma, and in style too.

Oh yeah, not only is this a super cool set of dice, it seems like Duff Dice, "The Lyin' Dice Game," should be a pretty fun game itself. For two to four players. Groovy.

Looking around the box and shipping papers, however, I see no indication as to who sent this set of Duff Dice to me. It's now been a day since the package showed up and my sleuthing attempts have not turned up anyone I know claiming responsibility, and it would seem I have a true mystery on my hands. Could it be that one of my dear readers was so kind as to surprise me with an awesome Simpsons gift? Well, it's not impossible....

Therefore, in case the anonymous gift-giver should happen to see this post, I want to express my deepest gratitude to you. Thank you so very much. This was such a thoughtful, fun surprise. You really made my day!

Best. Dice. Ever.

Thank you.

No Place Like It

I'm home! After two weeks away it feels so amazingly nice to be home. We drove the entire way yesterday, taking about sixteen hours to make the trip this time. I had been worried about how my daughter would fare but it seems like she handled it far better than either of her parents and was in good spirits the whole time. Such a relief as my wife and I descended quite deeply into the road madness. I felt absolutely crazy last night while unloading the minivan around midnight after everyone else had gone to bed. To those of you who drive for a living, I have no idea how you do it. You must have much more mental fortitude than me.

Chautauqua Lake, New York

Of course there was far less time available for hobby stuff than I had originally hoped there would be, but I'm not disappointed. I had a great time with my wife's family and enjoyed the trip immensely, plus just ten minutes or so playing roulette at the casino in Niagara Falls essentially paid for the whole vacation. Thanks, Canada! (7, 13, 23, and 32 were the lucky ones if I remember correctly.) Even better than that, my wife surprised me completely with a moog theremin kit seen below as my anniversary gift. Lastly, my brother-in-law gave me a copy of Escape From New York autographed personally to me by John Carpenter. Fortune smiles upon me. : )

Even though I didn't get any actual painting done, I decided early on that I wanted to focus on getting as much assembled and primed as I could with the time available. I was able to put together another twenty Imperial Guardsmen of the Blisstonian 9th and textured the bases for all of the assembled models. In a spraying frenzy the last night we were there I primed 54 infantry and the Deathstrike. The only thing I didn't get to was the single Sentinel that I had with me, but that's okay as I ran out of primer at around 11:40pm. I then packed everything up and loaded the family truckster, giving me three hours of sleep before waking to drive the first shift. In the quiet of the morning, a startling thought occurred to me:

The expression, "saltwater in his veins," doesn't really make sense.

Whether you're a sea captain or not, we all have saltwater in our veins. It's why you get saline in IV bags, right? It's been a while since my medicine days, but I don't think I've forgotten that much. Oh well. At 5:00 am this provoked in me a feeling of profound indignation and confusion.

Regardless, I now have enough models ready to keep me busy painting for a few months at least. Meanwhile I can also assemble another batch of figures and be poised to take advantage of better weather in the upcoming fall and winter. Based on Nesbet's suggestion, however, I am considering investing in an airbrush as a more long term solution to the challenges presented by the consistently high humidity where I live. I want to do a little more research but being liberated from worrying about weather sounds fantastic to me.

Okay, that's it. I'm optimistic about finally having something worthwhile to show in the near future. I've got my painting space sorted out and I have miniatures ready to go. Time to get painting!

The Drones of Sector 7G (Illustrated)

A couple of weeks ago Old School Terminator of Dark Future Games posted an interesting piece entitled "How Do You Pick Units? How Do You Build Your Army?" In it he examines the thought process that he goes through when planning out an army, offering up his Tyranid army as a very thorough example of how it works in practice. I find these trips through a gamer's list-making mind fascinating and informative, in addition to highlighting for me just how different people's approaches to army building can be, and indeed to the game itself. OST hoped to start an open discussion on this topic and asked for additional examples of this, so I thought it might be interesting (well, for me at least...) to do the same for my new Imperial Guard army that is just now getting underway.

In OST's case he studies the attributes of his favorite few units from the codex and then develops a theme for his army around those key features, selecting additional units that will allow his to play the style of army he envisions and to meet specific strategic needs. I admire his clarity of thought and his careful consideration of the impact his choices have on his army's tactics and overall performance. My own approach to building an army is perhaps somewhat more... quixotic? Keep that in mind as I do not mean to present this an example of good army-list building technique but really more as a contrast to the well-reasoned approach of someone with tactical acumen like OST. So with that caveat, let's being:

The Drones of Sector 7G

Sometime during the summer I began to think that it would be fun to put together and paint some models to go with my 40k terrain project, named "Sector 7G" in honor of that part of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant where Homer Simpson works. In one episode Mr. Burns points to Homer and asks who he is, to which Smithers responds, "One of you drones in Sector 7G." From that little exchange came the idea of putting together a squad of servitors and so that I could eventually let them wander around the table in scenario games blasting away randomly at nearby targets and being a nuisance for the competing armies. They'd be my drones and I'd have another Simpsons reference in my gaming nonsense... hooray, mission accomplished!

I call the middle one "Grimey."

I was quite satisfied with having a handful of zombie-like, cyborg workers run amuck on my table and left it at that for a while. It eventually occurred to me though that if I'm going to have a bunch of servitors, why not include a Techpriest to lead them in their efforts to repair 7G? Thus was born Techpriest Enginseer Smithers, as well as the realization that I could take the joke even further and put together a Springfield power plant-themed army to represent the workers and defenders of my Imperial manufactorums. I've been trying to find a way to get excited about the Guard again after several years away from them, having previously played a conventional Infantry Co. style list with LRBT platoon in support, and so even the most tenuous of connections to the Simpsons proved to be enough inducement for to me start a new army. Ever one to beat a joke in ground, especially bad ones, I was off to get my Codex to see what other things could be twisted to my silly plan.

Techpriest Enginseer Smithers

With the themed I'd chosen, I would obviously have to somehow include Mr. Burns himself in my army. After searching through a lot of potential models, I settled on using the Astropath from the Imperial Advisors pack. I think he has a suitably frail yet sinister appearance for playing the role of Mr. Burns. I don't want someone as important as Monty Burns to be just a mere astropath, however, so I promoted him to Primaris Psyker and thus he can appropriately be the leader of my army. Maybe in the 41st millennium Plant Manager Burns would be a psyker, though I prefer instead thinking of his powers as representing his control over the Sector's automatic defenses (Lightning Arc) and the dread he inspires in others (Nightshourd). Also, as my opponents are likely to recognize the model as an Imperial astropath, I'm hopeful that it will be easy enough to explain that he's just a simple counts-as Primaris Psyker.

Plant Manager Burns

Next up for consideration was the section of Troops, from which I elected to employ Penal Legion squads. These guys will provide the labor force needed to keep 7G humming along despite the massive damage it's suffered, in addition to being responsible for defending the plant in times of danger. I didn't want to worry about the command structure that you get with Infantry Platoons, nor did I feel the grunts of 7G befitting of the prestige and myriad special weapons available to Veteran squads. The independently functioning nature of Penal Legion squads seemed like a good way of portraying the various work details, each lead by a Crew Boss but otherwise with nothing special about the members of the squad. The deployment options gained from being Scouts should help them get to their job sites faster, while being Stubborn should let them demonstrate their tenacity and commitment to their work.

I've chosen to use Kolony Militia heads from Pig Iron as a way of suggesting the faceless, anonymous regard in which Plant Manager Burns sees his workers. On the subject of modeling, I would like to note that I am gluing on grenades despite Penal Legionnaires not being armed with them. I foresee possibly wanting to adapt this collection sometime down the road into a more traditional mechanized veterans type of army and therefore would like to keep my options as open as possible concerning WYSIWYG. That way, whether working for now at Sector 7G or on some other battlefield in the future, I expect these minis to be versatile enough to serve me for years to come. Here then are the first of the Blisstonian* 9th Volunteers:

Work detail, Blisstonian 9th Volunteers

At about this point my wife asked what I was up to and, upon hearing of my plans for another Simpsons 40k project, pointed out that I had overlooked an important asset available to Mr. Burns... his hounds. She insisted that during a game Mr. Burns be able to "release the hounds," or else my army of cartoon references would be an unmitigated failure.

Of course! She was right and I thought it was a great idea but was initially unsure as to how to do that with Imperial Guard. My first idea was to go with a squad of Rough Riders as Burns' hounds, modeled using Chaos Warhounds and sporting a variety of comical laser guns and rockets. Something about this didn't seem right, especially as the models would have a much lower profile than a normal squad of Guard cavalry. I then pictured Burns sitting next to one of his dogs, which somehow stirred within my mind the image of a fire-belching IG sentinel. I liked that and decided Plant Manager Burns would have Sentinel squadrons as his hounds. Initially I was leaning toward Armoured Sentinels, but after playing around with some various lists I now believe I will most likely build them as Scout Sentinels. This is partly due to the Scout variants being cheaper in points but also because I now really like the Pig Iron heads and want to also use them for my vehicle crews.

Release the hounds! Well... build the hounds, then release them!

I've mentioned before that I had ordered the Manticore/Deathstrike kit just because I really liked the model and thought it could be fun to use in scenario or narrative gaming. At the time I had no intention of including it in an army, but I saw this Drones project as a great excuse to make use of the Deathstrike Missile Launcher which I'd already assembled some months ago. It's a highly unpredictable, one-shot gimmick in which to invest precious points, hence why it's probably one of the least deployed weapons in the Imperial Guard's tabletop wars. But the doomsday quality of the Deathstrike seems to me like just the sort of thing Plant Manager Burns would want to have at his disposal. I concede that it is really more of a Hank Scorpio type of thing, but I believe Burns40k would also see the value in a weapon of such destructive potential. One should be enough at a thousand points but when this army grows any larger, I'd like to include more of them.... Kaboom!

"Exxxxcellent."

Casting about for more ways to expand on the army's theme, I recalled Mr. Burns' preference for the "personal touch you only get with hired goons." Therefore to act as his bodyguard, keeping Burns safe from xenos and disgruntled employee alike, as well as to give his authority some extra muscle, I've chosen to include a Storm Trooper squad equipped with the army's only pair of special weapons. I had tucked away enough of the older style of storm trooper miniatures to make up a full squad of them and was happy to see that their gas mask faces appeared to be a good match for the Pig Iron ones I was using on the rest of the army.

Hired Goons

I would like to have a way for those Storm Troopers to get around the battlefield more quickly and the IG Valkyrie has got to be one of the coolest kits ever released by Games Workshop. Mr. Burns is conveniently known to ride in style so for this army I'll be including an IG bird to serve as his limousine, but one that is armored and flying because it's the future! Even if it's guaranteed to get shot down every game, this is one of those units I really want to play around with as it just looks like a fun model to have. When I get back to expanding on Sector 7G, one of the first terrain pieces I plan on adding will be a landing pad so I don't think a single flyer would look terribly out of place in this collection. Also, should things turn against Plant Manager Burns, I'm sure he'd appreciate being able to make a speedy departure.

Burns' armored, flying limo

It would be reasonable for the Imperium to keep an eye on someone like Burns so to round out my HQ section I've included a Lord Commissar. Again I did not want to go with any of the infantry command squads for this particular army, thereby hopefully avoiding any confusion about Burns being an astropath. I do think however that a commissar could fit in nicely and monitor both Plant Manager Burns and those loaf-about carbon blobs of the Blisstonian 9th. The commissar with the plasma pistol and sword is another of my favorite models that I've looked forward to painting for a long time so he goes into the list-mix, too. Overseeing this entire operation will therefore be a stern and dutifully suspicious member of the Emperor's Nuclear Regulatory Commissariat.

Emperor's Nuclear Regulatory Commissar

Another individual whom I felt compelled to include in my army was a Homer stand-in of some sort. Fortunately I've got Guardsman Marbo to adapt to my purposes, and as GW saw fit to simply reverse the letters of one syllable, so shall I. My counts-as Marbo will therefore be known as "Safety Inspector Moher." While I still haven't entirely planned out this conversion, I'll probably end up using mostly Catachan parts and one of these tox-guard heads from MaxMini. I plan on replacing the usual demolition charge with a dangerously mishandled radioactive fuel rod. Thus in true Homerian fashion, Safety Inspector Moher will be both a champion of his fellow workers and simultaneously one of the greatest threats to their lives.

My inspiration for Safety Inspector Moher

By now I was pretty happy with the army lists I had drawn up and was ready to stop at the 1500 point mark. I thought the inspiration well had run dry and that I wouldn't be able to wring anything more out of the codex. I looked at some other heavy support choices and more elite options but couldn't see a good way to work any of them into my theme. I did not want to force anything in that doesn't belong and thought to myself, "Oh well, I don't need to fill the FOC completely." The list making was done, or so I believed until I remembered one last thing...

Lawyers! I have no doubt that Plant Manager Burns would want legal council while navigating the many byzantine layers of Imperial governance and the myriad perils that would entail. Burns' legal defense team will be played by the more bookish-appearing Inquisitor henchmen models and will be a counts-as Psyker Battle Squad for the army. I don't think it will be too hard for people to accept that their powers, Weaken Resolve and Soulstorm, represent the terrifying potency of such an aggressively litigious group of attorneys. I'm not too sure what to do about the unit's overseer, though I'm considering using either a Necromunda Enforcer or a spare commissar model to help keep the egg-heads in check.

The start of Burns' legal defense team.

And that was basically it... ta-da! As best as I can recall that was the thought process I went through in developing my plans for this project. So this time around at least there wasn't much worry given over to tactical performance or cost efficiency and instead most of my decisions were based on the visual and interpretive expression of my chosen theme. Along the way I wrote out a bunch of different army lists to see how the point totals were shaping up and am still tinkering some on the margins with the leftover points. Below are the lists that I'm going to be incrementally building toward for use in Sector 7G. Thanks for sticking with me through all that and indulging me in this narcissistic exercise. While I may have nothing enlightening to offer in all this prattle, at a minimum I hope I've explained how my army came about, one which I'm sure to most veteran generals would likely appear to be just an odd and hopelessly outclassed assortment of units masquerading as an army. I imagine the more cut-throat gamers will still snicker and roll their eyes, but you've now seen why I'm willing to put the effort into making this a reality.

And so at long last, the army lists:

Primaris Psyker

Techpriest Enginseer: 5 servitors, heavy bolter, mult-melta

Psyker Battle Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Scout Sentinel: heavy flamer

Total Points = 500

Primaris Psyker

Techpriest Enginseer: 5 servitors, heavy bolter, mult-melta

10 Storm Troopers: plasma pistol, meltagun, plasma gun

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

2 Scout Sentinels: heavy flamers

Deathstrike Missile Launcher

Total Points = 1000

Lord Commissar: plasma pistol, power weapon

Primaris Psyker

Techpriest Enginseer: 5 servitors, heavy bolter, mult-melta

10 Storm Troopers: plasma pistol, meltagun, plasma gun

Guardsman Marbo

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

3 Scout Sentinels: heavy flamers

Valkyrie Assault Carrier: multiple rocket pods, heavy bolters

Deathstrike Missile Launcher

Deathstrike Missile Launcher

Total Points = 1500

Lord Commissar: plasma pistol, power weapon

Primaris Psyker

Techpriest Enginseer: 5 servitors, heavy bolter, mult-melta

Psyker Battle Squad: 5 additional Sanctioned Psykers

10 Storm Troopers: plasma pistol, meltagun, plasma gun

Guardsman Marbo

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

Penal Legion Squad

2 Scout Sentinels: heavy flamers, smoke launchers

2 Scout Sentinels: heavy flamers, smoke launchers

Valkyrie Assault Carrier: multiple rocket pods, heavy bolters

Deathstrike Missile Launcher

Deathstrike Missile Launcher

Deathstrike Missile Launcher: dozer blade

Total Points = 2000

I've got about another week left of vacation and plenty still to assemble and prime before going home to the enveloping humidity of the South. I try to remain as flexible and open as possible so if anyone thinks of any Simpson references that I've missed but could include in this project, please let me know. As always, I welcome any and all suggestions, criticisms, angry muttering, et cetera. I know it was a lot to go through with the only reward being a few pictures of unpainted miniatures. Oh joy. Thanks again for letting me share with you my thoughts about this army... updates to come as things get painted.

*In episode #5F23 of season 9, “The Joy of Sect,” Homer joins a cult whose leader promises to take his followers away to the planet Blisstonia. Great episode, I highly recommend it.