Sunday, November 28, 2010

Full of Bluster

Despite my hopes for an active hobby week, I instead have very little progress to report. All I've managed to do so far has been some tinkering with army lists as I still am trying to decide what Fantasy army to collect for the 1000 point tournament at AdeptiCon 2011. Otherwise this week has been something of a wash as my wife and I decided at almost the last minute to pack up and head out of town for Thanksgiving. We've been in western New York visiting her family and will be heading back home on Tuesday.

This time around I decided to leave behind most of my hobby projects, having brought with me just a couple of panels from my Realm of Battle Gameboard for flocking. I'm optimistic that I'll have time to work on them tomorrow and, all things considered, would be satisfied were I to finish them off before heading back home. It's been since the Spring that I last did anything with the gameboard so I'm eager to see some progress. As it stands now two panels are complete, two await flock, and the last two have only been primed. I forgot to grab any of the paints I need to address those last two panels so really all I can aspire to accomplish while in NY would be gluing down some flock and hopefully not making too much of a mess of my in-laws' house.

Meanwhile, following on from my previous post regarding blog networks, this evening I wrote out my application for joining the Int'l House of Paincakes and submitted it for their review. I really appreciate receiving so much input from all of you about your experiences both with the HoP and the numerous other networks with which you are associated. Some of you also warned me that the essay section of the application to join the HoP is perhaps not as crucial to admission as I otherwise might have believed. Nonetheless I thought it would be fun (i.e., self-obsessive) to take a stab at it anyways. Also, since I'm not getting a lot done on the hobby front, I thought I would publish it here to help pad my post-count as I am not above such shameless tactics.

So here then is my essay answering in five hundred words or less why, "[I am] God's gift to the Internet." Of course please feel free to skewer, lampoon, and ridicule to your heart's content. Besides, I suspect that is what is in store for me should any of the head honchos over there bother to read it. Therefore a good ripping might even help prepare me for whatever may come of this. Enjoy!


Dear Sirs,

Congratulations on the burgeoning success of your blog community. I am happy to report today it reaches the pinnacle of accomplishment as I, God's gift to the internet, seek admission to your network's blogrolls. I believe the inclusion of my blog, diceRolla, will prove to be a great coup for the House of Paincakes, the reasons for which I am prepared to detail for you in a manner completely devoid of pomp or hyperbole.

My innovative painting style puts Golden Daemon winners to shame and has even inspired a series of articles at Laubersheimer Industries. My tactical and list building advice provides a foundation for imitators the world over, including YTTH and 3++ is the new black, prompting their authors to send me daily emails asking for help. My battle reports are more epic than The Iliad. Dethtron even had to coin a new phrase in order to adequately describe my gaming prowess, AAAC, which means, "Awesome At All Costs." In short, I have had more impact on our hobby in a year and a half of blogging than the other JJ has had after decades of designing games.

But diceRolla is so much more than just the most valuable gaming resource on the...

YUCK! Even joking around that's more internet bluster than I can muster. I admit there is nothing groundbreaking about my painting and I've not yet written a single battle report for my website. Further only someone truly desperate would seek my advice on tactics or army lists, and a sense of propriety precludes me from offering any out of consideration for my dismal win-loss records. Even Jervis Johnson has accused me of peddling meritless articles, and that's really something coming from him.

I like writing for my blog and other people seem to be enjoying it as well, but I certainly do not consider myself God's gift to the internet. I nonetheless think I would be a good member for your online community and would strive to my utmost ability to contribute in a positive way. On most days I've got a cheerful disposition which I think is reflected in my approach to blogging and I try to offer support and encouragement to those who share my passion for the hobby. While that may not be a terribly exciting prospect for many in your network, I do very much look forward to engaging with your associate members and having some fun.

It would be an honor for me to be accepted into the House of Paincakes, thank you for your consideration.

Jason, aka Papa JJ


  1. "My battle reports are more epic than the Iliad." Nice.

  2. Absolutely hilarious. I for one am grateful you're blogging. It's really reassuring to know that there are a number of otherwise perfectly normal people out there who spend a little too much of their free time refining army lists and painting toy soldiers...

    Oh, and thanks for your comments by the way. As you know I'm just getting started and help from folks such as yourself is really appreciated.

    Catch you later

  3. "AAAC, which means, 'Awesome At All Costs.'"
    I loled at this but I was chuckling while reading the whole thing! Very nice presentation sir.

  4. JJ,

    That's perfect. I'm sure you'll get in no problems... They let ME in. =)))

    Be Well,


  5. @ sonsoftaurus - Haha, glad you liked that one. Thanks!

    @ GDMNW - Thank you very much, I really appreciate that. : ) I just try to keep lighthearted about things and have fun along the way. I'm also quite happy to have come across your website, I think you're putting together a really helpful resource for your fellow gamers. You seem to have a great attitude and approach to the hobby and deserve a wide audience. Keep up the awesome work!

    @ The Antipope - Thank you! I wasn't sure if I'd taken too far so it's good to hear my essay was received in the spirit I had hoped it would be. All in good fun.... thanks, buddy!

    @ Loquacious - Wonderful, thank you so much! I appreciate you encouraging me to get involved with the HoP, you really did help me see I was missing out on a jolly good time. Thanks!

  6. Honestly, something short and sharp like 'add my ass, beyatches' would've done it. This though, is a great read. I know they've been pretty swamped so it may take a few days :) Nice one Jason!


  7. Lol, I like your suggestion. A good bit punchier, I'd say, and definitely more to the point. : ) But the good news is that I made it as they've accepted my application to join... Woo-hoo! Thanks so much, Paul!

  8. Very sweet! Remember to begin your message with"Four score and seven dice rolls" and to end with:For the wargamers, by the wargamers!".

    Anyway, with an army of 138 followers you stand a good chance of being accepted!


  9. Top banana! let the mirth and shenanigans commence!

  10. @ Bartender - Very good line, I think I need to hire you as the official diceRolla speech writer! Thank you, friend!

    @ whencannonsfade - I'm excited to be with such good company... this should be fun. : ) Thanks again for all your help!