Full of Bluster

Despite my hopes for an active hobby week, I instead have very little progress to report. All I've managed to do so far has been some tinkering with army lists as I still am trying to decide what Fantasy army to collect for the 1000 point tournament at AdeptiCon 2011. Otherwise this week has been something of a wash as my wife and I decided at almost the last minute to pack up and head out of town for Thanksgiving. We've been in western New York visiting her family and will be heading back home on Tuesday.

This time around I decided to leave behind most of my hobby projects, having brought with me just a couple of panels from my Realm of Battle Gameboard for flocking. I'm optimistic that I'll have time to work on them tomorrow and, all things considered, would be satisfied were I to finish them off before heading back home. It's been since the Spring that I last did anything with the gameboard so I'm eager to see some progress. As it stands now two panels are complete, two await flock, and the last two have only been primed. I forgot to grab any of the paints I need to address those last two panels so really all I can aspire to accomplish while in NY would be gluing down some flock and hopefully not making too much of a mess of my in-laws' house.

Meanwhile, following on from my previous post regarding blog networks, this evening I wrote out my application for joining the Int'l House of Paincakes and submitted it for their review. I really appreciate receiving so much input from all of you about your experiences both with the HoP and the numerous other networks with which you are associated. Some of you also warned me that the essay section of the application to join the HoP is perhaps not as crucial to admission as I otherwise might have believed. Nonetheless I thought it would be fun (i.e., self-obsessive) to take a stab at it anyways. Also, since I'm not getting a lot done on the hobby front, I thought I would publish it here to help pad my post-count as I am not above such shameless tactics.

So here then is my essay answering in five hundred words or less why, "[I am] God's gift to the Internet." Of course please feel free to skewer, lampoon, and ridicule to your heart's content. Besides, I suspect that is what is in store for me should any of the head honchos over there bother to read it. Therefore a good ripping might even help prepare me for whatever may come of this. Enjoy!

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Dear Sirs,

Congratulations on the burgeoning success of your blog community. I am happy to report today it reaches the pinnacle of accomplishment as I, God's gift to the internet, seek admission to your network's blogrolls. I believe the inclusion of my blog, diceRolla, will prove to be a great coup for the House of Paincakes, the reasons for which I am prepared to detail for you in a manner completely devoid of pomp or hyperbole.

My innovative painting style puts Golden Daemon winners to shame and has even inspired a series of articles at Laubersheimer Industries. My tactical and list building advice provides a foundation for imitators the world over, including YTTH and 3++ is the new black, prompting their authors to send me daily emails asking for help. My battle reports are more epic than The Iliad. Dethtron even had to coin a new phrase in order to adequately describe my gaming prowess, AAAC, which means, "Awesome At All Costs." In short, I have had more impact on our hobby in a year and a half of blogging than the other JJ has had after decades of designing games.

But diceRolla is so much more than just the most valuable gaming resource on the...

YUCK! Even joking around that's more internet bluster than I can muster. I admit there is nothing groundbreaking about my painting and I've not yet written a single battle report for my website. Further only someone truly desperate would seek my advice on tactics or army lists, and a sense of propriety precludes me from offering any out of consideration for my dismal win-loss records. Even Jervis Johnson has accused me of peddling meritless articles, and that's really something coming from him.

I like writing for my blog and other people seem to be enjoying it as well, but I certainly do not consider myself God's gift to the internet. I nonetheless think I would be a good member for your online community and would strive to my utmost ability to contribute in a positive way. On most days I've got a cheerful disposition which I think is reflected in my approach to blogging and I try to offer support and encouragement to those who share my passion for the hobby. While that may not be a terribly exciting prospect for many in your network, I do very much look forward to engaging with your associate members and having some fun.

It would be an honor for me to be accepted into the House of Paincakes, thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Jason, aka Papa JJ